


Santa, Baby

by swampslip



Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Blasphemy, Christmas, Creampie, Dysphoria, Getting Together, Grinding, Internalized Transphobia, Lingerie, Lost a Bet, Other, Riding, Vaginal Sex, mary linton bashing, non-binary john marston, whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:01:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28285149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swampslip/pseuds/swampslip
Summary: “This is strange.”“Yup.”“... S’not the same, now.”“Not with you wearin’ that.”“I can change-”“I… Don’t mean ‘cause of who you are. I mean ‘cause what it is,” Arthur says weakly, not lifting his head, “Then you started talkin’ ‘bout watchin’ and Mary and it’s… It’s been a while.”“... Arthur?” John whispers.“Hm?”“Can we stop dancin’ ‘round this?”
Relationships: John Marston/Arthur Morgan, past mary/arthur - Relationship
Comments: 9
Kudos: 54





	Santa, Baby

**Author's Note:**

> okay okay there is some discussion of internalized toxic masculinity and dysphoria, mild discussion of transitioning and prior transphobia/homophobia from mary who like I'm not trying to bash but she fits that intolerant hypocrite catholic vibe yknow  
> nub, chest, slit, hole, cunt are used for john who is on t and post top surgery
> 
> there's art i did for this!! [on my nsfw twt](https://twitter.com/swampslip/status/1342063941208305664)

John can feel his face burning red as he tugs at the coat to make sure it's closed and waits in front of Arthur's bedroom door.

The door opens and John freezes up when Arthur looks at him tiredly, rubbing his eyes.

"John?" Arthur whispers, hoarse with sleep and John swallows thickly.

"I… Can I come in?" John asks shakily. 

"Yeah?" Arthur steps back immediately and John steps in, ducking his head and fidgeting with the belt of the coat, "The hell are you wearin'?" 

"I lost a bet," John says weakly as Arthur closes the door.

"... What?" 

"Fuckin' Karen had this costume and we was all playin' cards and I lost and I-" John swallows roughly and his shoulders draw up around his ears, "Sean and her were at the end of the hall, I had to pick one of the fellas and… Show them."

"Show what?" Arthur rubs at his face again, obviously still waking up and John feels so stupid. 

"I don't- I didn't want anyone else to- I just fuckin'-" John shuffles his weight and Arthur frowns at him in concern. 

"S'just a game, John, you don't gotta do anythin', just quit." 

"... I'm already _here_ ," John whispers. 

"... You don't gotta show me- Show me whatever it is, yeah?" Arthur offers gently, "If anyone asks I'll just tell 'em you did." 

"... You serious?"

"Yeah? You… You gotta tell me what it is so I can say but-" Arthur shrugs and walks back to his bed, rubbing at his face and sitting on the edge. 

"S'a goddamn Mrs. Claus set," John says thickly, not meeting Arthur's eyes. 

Arthur quirks a brow at him slowly and John shuffles more. 

"Really?" Arthur asks quietly, "Like… The 'adult' kind?" 

"... It's a lil' dress thing," John mutters, "Matchin' drawers but they're- They- They ain't-" 

John shifts again uncomfortably and makes a weak sound, embarrassed.

"You don't- John," Arthur murmurs, "Ain't worth gettin' upset over." 

"They're split," John gets out in a rush. 

"... Karen bought this?" Arthur huffs a small laugh, "Jesus." 

John fidgets more with the belt and glances at the door, then the carpet between his feet.

"... You alright?" Arthur asks quietly and there's not a hint of teasing in it at all, dead serious, "Is it… Y'know, _upsettin_ ' you?" 

"Lil'... Dunno, feel weird," John whispers shakily, "S'stupid. S'just a joke."

"You coulda said no."

"I didn't wanna make it a big deal or nothin'-" John scratches at the scruff on his face roughly and gestures vaguely at Arthur, "Was you or Bill or Javier and I… I didn't think you'd be mean about it."

"I'm not gonna be," Arthur says softly. 

John nods slowly and shifts again, bare feet digging into the carpet. 

"S'that it?" 

"What if they… Should I just show you?" John huffs. 

"... If you want, sure," Arthur says carefully, "Kinda curious, actually."

John holds still for a moment then opens the coat and lets it fall off his shoulders, bundling it up and holding onto the fabric next to his hip. 

Arthur blinks at the sight that John makes, flushed and not meeting his eyes with red velvet and lace skimming his torso, barely covering his crotch where more lace is peeking out. 

"Wow, uh-" Arthur clears his throat awkwardly, "Looks… Soft?"

John huffs weakly and holds himself stiffly, not sure if he should cover back up…

Or let Arthur look more, getting nervous at the warmth building between his thighs. 

"It is."

"... You don't- If it's… Red looks good on you," Arthur says quietly. 

"Thanks," John whispers uncertainly. 

A long silence stretches between them and Arthur shifts on the bed. 

"You know it doesn't… S'not really that 'girly' or nothin'," Arthur says, pausing when John looks at him, "I mean you don't… If it's botherin' you, you still look- Shit-"

Arthur huffs softly and rubs at his face. 

"You look good, s'what I'm tryna say."

"... Oh,” John looks down at himself and grimaces slightly, fidgeting with the coat then the fur trim on his chest, “I don’t- I don’t hate it, just feel...”

John shrugs and his posture loosens a bit, not holding himself so stiff and small. 

“Stupid,” John whispers. 

“Think I’d feel stupid in it too,” Arthur says, gently amused, gesturing at John’s bare legs, “I’d look like a cow in a corset.”

John huffs a weak laugh and shifts the hem of the teddy, letting it settle again. 

The fur edging is soft on his thighs and there’s something lurking in him…

Just trusting Arthur for a moment, to not judge him. 

“You know I wanna wear shit like this sometimes?” John asks hoarsely. 

“... Like _this_ or just women’s shit?”

“‘Feminine’ stuff, yeah,” John mutters, “Like the way it feels.”

“You mean physically?” Arthur asks quietly. 

John blinks at the fabric then looks up to meet Arthur’s eyes, swallowing thickly and nodding. 

“You could…” Arthur runs his tongue over his lower lip nervously and nods lightly at the bottom half of John, “Doubt Karen’d want it back.”

John feels goosebumps forming on his arms and carefully pulls the coat back onto his shoulders but doesn’t move to close it. 

“You…” Arthur’s mouth quirks to the side lightly, “You might get teased, a bit, but you could pick some stuff up next time we go into town.”

“I… Don’t think I’d want to wear that in front of anyone else,” John whispers, “I know you- You at least try n’... Not be too grossed out.”

Arthur’s brows furrow sharply and his eyes flick over John in concern. 

“I ain’t grossed out or anythin’ like that,” Arthur says, quiet but firm, “You ain’t gross.”

“After everythin’ to get… To look like a ‘man’,” John breathes out shakily and gestures at himself angrily, “I shouldn’t want _this_.”

“Would you think less of me if I wore somethin’ like that?”

“No, but you’re-” John swallows thickly and drops his eyes to the ground, “There’s nothin’ in you that leans left of masculine, y’know? You don’t gotta try or do anythin’ special.”

“... You tried to explain before, ‘bout how you feel,” Arthur shifts on the bed and sighs softly, rubbing at his eyes again, “You know I don’t really understand but I don’t think that doin’ somethin’ to make you happy is bad. I’ve said that, you know you don’t gotta value anyone’s comfort over your own.”

“I’m sayin’ with anyone else it’d make me uncomfortable ‘cause I know they’d… They’d be weirded out,” John’s voice trails off into a whisper. 

“I’m sorry, John.”

“You know I hate that,” John says weakly and shuffles, “Don’t apologize.”

“I don’t know what else to say,” Arthur admits into the quiet of his room, far away from the antics in the rec room, far away from any other bedroom, any main hall where people might pass and overhear. 

And John can only hope that Karen and Sean lost interest in spying on them, when there was no overt reaction from Arthur. 

John worries his lower lip and looks down at the fabric again, messing with the hem. 

"... Sorry for wakin' you up," John mutters.

"I… I know it's been a while, since I said it," Arthur says slowly, "But y'know you can come talk, or whatever, _whenever_ , right?"

"You used to… Used to let me just hang out with you or stay in here at night," John says quietly. 

"I never said you had to stop?"

"You were with Mary."

"... Oh," Arthur says hoarsely, "S'that why you stopped-? John, I didn't… I wasn't tryna push you out or nothin'."

"I didn't wanna bother you."

"You're not botherin' me-"

"I… I didn't _want_ to then, yeah? I knew what y'all were up to," John mutters with a flush spreading down his neck, burning his ears, "Only… Only tried again last year after that… After that big storm I was havin' nightmares and I-"

John shifts and squeezes the fur trim, feeling his brows furrowing in frustration. 

"You coulda… You coulda said-" 

"I walked in on you two," John says slowly, "Dunno if she ever told you." 

"... She didn't."

"She… She was kinda upset-" John drags his teeth over his lower lip, "I'm not tryna talk bad 'bout her or anythin'."

"You haven't said anythin'."

"You know she was… She had a real strong system of beliefs," John says quietly, "Always think about her this time of year, how… Traditional she was."

Arthur's brows furrow lightly and he looks at John with a specific kind of regret he always gets, talking about Mary. 

"She say somethin' to you?" 

"... Wished me luck," John edges carefully.

"Luck for what?"

John swallows and stiffens just a bit. 

"I should leave-" 

"John," Arthur says seriously and stands from the bed, stepping closer.

"I- Arthur, shit, c'mon, I shouldn't have brought it up. I didn't mean to-" John tenses and takes a sharp step back when Arthur reaches for him, "I'm sorry, alright, I'll go-"

Arthur pauses, drops his hand from reaching for the younger and frowns. 

"You think I'm mad at you?"

"You don't like when we talk 'bout her."

"I'd like you to tell me what she said."

"Arthur-" John sighs roughly and curls in on himself, "Jesus, I walked in you two last year, not long 'fore you split this time, she saw me 'cause you were in the chair and she was-" 

John shifts his weight awkwardly, and he's thought about that moment a lot. 

In ways he shouldn't have, in ways Arthur would probably be furious at him for. 

Imagining himself as Arthur, as Mary, between them. 

"She was ridin' you," John mumbles, ducking his head, "I don't know why the door wasn't latched but it wasn't and you had your face… Pretty sure your eyes were closed either way."

"John, what did she say?" Arthur asks quietly.

"She said she wished me good luck and that she'd pray for me."

" _Why_?"

"'Cause she thought I was _gross_ , Arthur," John says weakly, "Thought I was some kinda abomination."

"... 'Cause you- 'Cause your body or-?" 

"Just… That sorta thing in general," John mutters, "Bein' a sinner."

"... I'm sorry."

"Found it a bit funny, y'know," John tilts his head towards the desk. 

"... John."

"I'm not sayin' she was-"

"That's not why I'm upset," Arthur says quietly, "John… I know she was- She didn't… She had a lotta opinions."

"Yeah."

"We agreed on a lot of 'em," Arthur mumbles, "Not those."

John hesitantly meets Arthur's eyes, then shifts his weight. 

Shrugs.

"Serious," Arthur whispers and takes that last step closer and grabs John's arm tightly, "I'm so damned serious right now, Johnny, don't you think that was somethin' we agreed on."

"I was kinda shocked," John whispers, "For a moment, when I saw you two. Didn't mean to watch but I did- She called me out for that too, in that polite way o' hers."

"Called you out for an accident?" Arthur frowns and rubs John's arm. 

"Called me out 'cause she could tell I wanted… I…" John swallows roughly and looks down at himself, tugging angrily at the fabric, "I don't know what I fuckin' want."

"... Do you wanna stay here tonight?" Arthur whispers, "John…" 

"I know that tone," John says roughly, "Don't."

"I'm not- Okay? I'm not apologizin'- Just stay here for a bit," Arthur says and he sounds almost scared, "Okay?"

John frowns softly.

"Why you bein’ so touchy?"

Arthur sucks on his teeth then tugs lightly at John, guiding the younger towards his bed before moving to his dresser and yanking it open.

"You want pants?"

"What?" John huffs, "Arthur, why are you-?"

"I'm _sorry_ ," Arthur says pointedly, "And if you don't want me to say it, I'm gonna show you."

"You don't gotta be sorry for Mary bein'-"

"I'm not sorry for her, John, I'm sorry for _me_ ," Arthur says and turns around and drops to sit next to John on the bed, shoving a pair of drawstring pants into the younger's lap, "I'm sorry I made you think you weren't important."

"It wasn't… I didn't think you were bein' mean or anythin'," John says quietly, "S'not like you told me to fuck off, I didn't wanna annoy you-"

"I should've realized," Arthur whispers, "I shoulda checked, thought you just grew out of it."

"Thought you'd want me to."

"I don't… I don’t mind. I never did.”

John sits, still for a moment then shifts and shrugs out of the coat. 

Hesitating. 

“I’m gonna say somethin’ stupid,” John mumbles.

“Okay?”

“I don’t want the pants.”

Arthur huffs a soft laugh and shakes his head before pressing a hand to his face, leaning over his knees and shifting to hide his face in his hands. 

“Jesus,” Arthur mutters, “Not what I thought I was bein’ woken up for.”

John rubs at his bare arms lightly and shifts on the bed. 

“This is strange.”

“Yup.”

“... S’not the same, now.”

“Not with you wearin’ that.”

“I can change-”

“I… Don’t mean ‘cause of who you are. I mean ‘cause what it is,” Arthur says weakly, not lifting his head, “Then you started talkin’ ‘bout watchin’ and Mary and it’s… It’s been a while.”

“... Arthur?” John whispers.

“Hm?”

“Can we stop dancin’ ‘round this?”

Arthur slowly sits up and squeezes the fabric over his thighs. 

“You wanna say somethin’?”

“I was jealous, in a way, think she knew that.”

“Yeah?”

“... Soon as Karen said they were-” John gestures weakly at himself, “‘Easy-Access’, as she put it… I was thinkin’ about it.”

“About what?” Arthur whispers, not looking at John, staring at the floor. 

“‘’Bout sittin’ in your lap,” John whispers, “Like she was.”

Arthur curses under his breath then inhales sharply and moves. 

Shoving himself back on the bed and grabbing John, easily pulling the younger into his lap so they’re facing each other and Arthur’s back is against the wall, feet hanging off the edge of the mattress. 

John squirms and hesitantly balances himself with his hands on Arthur’s shoulders. 

“God, you look so good,” Arthur whispers, “You do, you know that, don’t you?”

Arthur’s hands slide up his hips, lifting the fur and velvet on the sides, looking up at John. 

John can feel that the bottoms are wide open with his legs spread like this. 

“Arthur,” John whispers.

“You wanna?”

“I do,” John shifts and squeezes Arthur’s shoulders, his lips parting as Arthur’s hands slide up further and the older man’s thumbs brush the edges of the scars on John’s chest. 

“Okay?” 

“Fine with it, with most everythin’, if it’s you,” John whispers. 

“... Hey,” Arthur murmurs and leans in and meets John’s eyes, looking up at the younger softly, “Hey.”

“Hey?” 

“Johnny,” Arthur says quietly, “Can I ask you somethin’?”

“Yeah?"

"You feel good, wearin' this kinda thing? Worked up?" 

John squirms then nods and Arthur groans softly, hands sliding around and grabbing at John's ass through the lace. 

Pulling John's hips to line up with his and John bites his lip instead of whimpering as the flannel of Arthur's pants presses into his slit through the opening. 

"Fuck," John whispers and rocks his hips lightly, "Dammit." 

"Hm?" 

"Feels good."

"Good." 

"Love you," John whispers shakily.

Arthur doesn't breathe for a second then grabs onto John and pulls the younger down against his chest. 

"Love you too," Arthur says hoarsely and presses his lips into John's hair, "Love you too, Johnny." 

John whines quietly and rocks his hips, starts rutting his slit over the bulge of Arthur's cock. 

Arthur’s fingers dig into his ass and tug at his hips.

John reaches down between them and squirms, lifting himself up as he shoves down Arthur’s pajama pants. 

Sits himself back down with Arthur’s cock aligned with his slit. 

Arthur groans again, louder and his hips rock up against John. 

John lays back down, heavier against the older man’s chest and tucks his face into Arthur’s neck. 

“You wanna be inside?” John whispers shakily and squeezes Arthur’s sides. 

“You want that?”

“Yeah,” John whispers, “Fuck, yeah, do it.”

“You need me to get-?”

“No,” John presses his face harder into Arthur’s neck, “C’mon.”

The backs of John’s fingers brush his cock as the younger slides two fingers into himself and Arthur listens to the wet sound of John fucking himself open with his fingers.

Sliding his hands over soft skin and coarse hair and bumpy lace, the fur edging tickling the backs of his hands.

John whimpers quietly against him and digs his fingers into the back of Arthur’s ribs. 

“Fuck,” John mutters, “Real slick, go ‘head.”

Moving his fingertips to rest on his nub.

Arthur just breathes for a second then his hand slides down John’s ass and between his thighs, lining himself up through the hole in the bottoms. 

John makes a soft noise against the older man’s neck and rocks back. 

Arthur’s breath stutters when his cock slips inside John, slick heat surrounding him and he wasn’t lying-

It’s been a while.

“Shit, hold on,” Arthur mutters and grabs at John’s hips, holding the younger still and pressing his cheek against John’s. 

John quietly protests then turns to face Arthur and presses his lips to the older man’s. 

Arthur squeezes his hips and parts his lips, letting John guide the kiss until they’re both breathing heavy and John’s clenching around his cock, leaking slick around him. 

“Please,” John whispers, “Arthur?”

“Yeah?”

“Move.”

Arthur grunts softly and digs his heels into the mattress, slowly rocking up into John, making the younger gasp against his mouth. 

John sits himself up a little bit and looks down at where they’re connected as Arthur holds his hips steady and fucks up into him. 

“Jesus,” John whispers and something about all of this knocks amusement into Arthur and he huffs a weak laugh. 

John looks up at his face in confusion, brows furrowed and lips parted, reaching back to steady himself on Arthur’s leg. 

“What?” John whispers. 

“S’just… Situation,” Arthur says breathily and nods at John then around them, “Past midnight, right?”

“... S’Christmas, yeah.”

“Hell of a present.”

John huffs then bites his lip and rolls his body from his shoulders to his hips, grinding himself onto Arthur. 

“God,” Arthur whispers and sinks a little heavier against the wall, watching John move, “Lookit you.”

John shivers lightly and closes his eyes, clenching around Arthur and steadily grinding himself back and forth. 

Arthur’s legs start flexing behind him and the older man’s expression pinches, moving his thumbs under the velvet and rubbing over the edges of John’s hipbones. 

As John’s fingers slowly start circling his nub and he tilts back a little more, clenching harder, slick dripping out around Arthur’s cock. 

“C’mon,” John whispers, “Please.”

“What?” Arthur whispers shakily and John’s eyes open, look at him. 

Heated and loving. 

“Come, Arthur,” John murmurs, “Inside me.”

“... You serious?”

“Yeah,” John pulls back the hood over his nub and uses two fingers to stroke along either side, tensing up, bringing one leg in front of himself and rolling his hips.

“Fuck,” Arthur whispers and watches as John twitches into his own touch and clamps down on him, “Johnny, you gotta- You sure? ‘Cause-”

“Please,” John whispers, then presses his lips together, curling up on himself and squirming lightly as he gasps and comes, pulsing around Arthur’s cock, breath stuttering, “Art-”

Arthur exhales heavily and his hips flex as he lets John’s orgasm pull him over as well, cock jerking inside the younger. 

“John,” Arthur whispers and struggles to keep his eyes open, brows furrowing harshly as he pants, “Johnny, baby-”

John huffs weakly then whimpers quietly and keeps stroking his nub lightly as he lifts up just enough that Arthur’s cock slips out. 

Sitting back and they both watch as John’s cunt clenches around the emptiness until come is spilling back out of him and pooling on Arthur’s lower belly. 

Arthur’s cock gives a few last twitches, pulsing weak droplets of come near his belly button. 

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](https://providentialeyes.tumblr.com)   
>  [my twitter](https://www.twitter.com/gwennolmarie)   
>  [horny twitter](https://www.twitter.com/swampslip)


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